Don't Judge What You Don't Understand

You know what I want? I want a marimo moss ball. A tiny one. A what? Well, a marimo moss ball is basically just that, a moss ball. Taking care of it, since it's obviously alive, is simple enough. You just change the tap water every 1-2 weeks. Apparently, it brings fortune or good luck or something like that to it's owners, according to Japanese belief. I just think it's adorable.

Click for the link! @Etsy.com

It can be on a necklace, in a bowl, whatever.

Click for the link! @Etsy.com

Yeah, I don't know why I can't just be normal and want a puppy or a kitten.... But don't get me wrong, I pride myself on being unique, if not just plain weird. I like to think of myself as artistically inclined. 

Here's my energy drink collection so far :) Not much, but I don't like many energy drink flavors. Fake juice is not a cool flavor.

And here's my future baby...

Black Boss 557-Foose Wheels (Mustang)

But anyway, I'm bored. As usual, it's somewhere around midnight or something. My arm hurts from giving blood... not because of the process so much as because I think they put the needle in wrong. I almost fainted anyway. That'll be a first when it happens. The nurses looked at me as if I was weird for not complaining, but by then my mind had gone into a magical winter wonderland and they thought I would surely pass out. But me? Faint? Ha! 

Bored again. You know, I've been reading a lot lately. Nothing in particular, just anything in general, from Goosebumps to Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul, and medical encyclopedias to history books. I've realized that when you sleep an average of 3 hours per night, it's best to at least do something with all the extra time. Even if it's hardly productive or useful. They say I have insomnia, but I don't think I will ever believe it. I just don't want labels, not even if they are true. Labels are forever, and these kind of labels aren't even the good kind. 

I know, I know, I probably talk about it a lot. But I can hardly help it, it's what's on my mind most nights.

Oh, and by the way, here's a rainbow cupcake!

So, anyway, I want to go see the Grand Prismatic Spring. It looks awesome, and totally dangerous, but still totally awesome.

And I kind of also want a bacon cheeseburger, but my real weakness is still a chicken sandwich and Ferrero Rocher chocolates. I also want a tattoo. I don't really care that my parents would skin me alive and boil me in acid or that it's socially still kind of frowned upon. It'll be my problem if I can't find a job, nobody else's. I'm an artist anyway, I know better than to get a crappy tattoo that wouldn't suit me well. Why does everybody have to be so judgmental? 

Yes, I can draw very well, but no, I don't want to be another Picasso or anything. I don't want to be a copy of anybody. Yes, I kind of hate religion, but not actually religiously devoted people. I just hate war, and it magically happens to be at the core of conflict at times. I would be fine with it if people could just coexist with their different beliefs. I mean, it's not up to you to try and "save" anybody. Let everybody choose their own future. Leave them be. Unless they become serial killers and mass murderers, in that case, lock 'em up for all eternity. Yes, I am a spiritual person, but no, not in a religious way. I believe that nature and what is natural can heal people. Not necessarily in a hippy way. But I do believe in the metaphysical properties of gemstones. I mean, who doesn't think beaches and secluded natural springs are peaceful and relaxing?

I would love to spend my days sitting at the edge of a shallow creek, scanning the riverbed for interesting pebbles. I mean, it's all so simple, yet complex. Not many people go out and walk in the rain anymore, even though it's so beautiful that I don't understand why not. Nature can heal. It is a foundation for all that is good. If somebody really wanted to "find themselves" they would go on a road trip across the country, not consult a self-help book written by somebody that doesn't even know you. How could they possibly know about your nature and purpose? Only you would know that. And if you don't it isn't because it's lost. Your identity is just deep within you, and you need self-confidence to know it. 

Who is anybody to judge anybody else anyway? I can't speak for other people, I can only speak for myself and my beliefs. So what if my ideas are contradictory? It's nobody's problem but mine. But what I don't like is when people die over ideas. I'll respect you if you die for your ideas, but not if you kill for them. Die for your beliefs, but do not kill for them. Other people have the right to live, even if you don't want to. 

It applies to different things in life too. Do you know how many babies are aborted each year? Do you know how many survived being aborted but were left scarred for life due to it, with conditions and paralysis? Do you know how many of those unplanned pregnancies could have been prevented, or how many of those babies could have at least been placed for adoption? They don't hesitate in abort the baby, and then they get depressed, because what they did is wrong. Screw pro-choice. It's just a stupid excuse to not deal with the consequences of your actions. You're 15 and you got knocked up and impregnated by your 10th boyfriend in the past year? Live with it. Man the fuck up. And if you can't, place the baby for adoption. The baby never did anything to deserve irresponsible parents. I mean, have you ever seen an aborted baby?? Seriously. There is scientific evidence that it felt the fucking knife rip it limb from limb, and it's still debatable?? 

Yeah, I know that picture is graphic. So? It's real. And abortion doesn't even end there, at 10 weeks. A fetus can practically be at point of birth and people will still abort it, lopping of it's head. I mean, did you ever wonder HOW they did it? The baby did not simply cease to exist, you know. There are various ways, you could poison the baby with a salt solution and watch him die for over an hour, though he might survive with all sorts of neurological damage. Another way is to slice them up, cut off the hand, or suck the brain out through an incision in the nape of the neck. Is it too graphic for you? Too inhuman? Too horrible?? Well, that's reality for you. What's worse is that you could have saved a life by simply choosing to give the baby up to a loving family. Sure, you'd be haunted by the fact that you gave them up, but it wouldn't be nearly as bad as being haunted by the fact that you killed them.

Sometimes, I just don't like living in our society.

And sure, I know life isn't all bad. But sometimes that is all that I can see. I don't think I have "depression," I just think I see too much. Ironically enough, I wear corrective lenses. But how can I stop myself from seeing? Ignorance might be bliss, but it's too late to take knowledge back.

My life is not nearly as bad as the lives of some people. I'm still trying to understand why poor people tend to be happier too... how people can remain so untouched by the negative aspects of tragic situations. 

I don't know. I always start out fine, but then I start thinking. Thinking too much has always been a problem for me, I guess that's also why I can never sleep. Well, maybe my mental and physical exhaustion will bring me sleep. I shall at least try..

Goodnight, my fellow human and non-human beings. Hasta luego!