This Is Your Movement

So, recently, (like two days ago) I looked at my high school transcript... and yeah, it was a pretty disappointing experience. I've always been a bit of a teacher's favorite, an avid reader, and a bit of an overachiever... but man, on paper I look more like your typical high school drug addict with potential but no future. Well, maybe that's an exaggeration, but still, it was very, very bad.  Very discouraging, bringing up all sorts of unwanted negativity. It brings up several questions to mind too though, like: To what extent does this paper actually describe me? To what extent can my abilities be summed up into a "cumulative" GPA? To what extent will this affect my representation of myself? And, how accurate is "estimating" future potential through course grades and scales? If it isn't accurate, why is it still done?

I feel like a Chinese student taking the "Gaokao," or National Higher Education Entrance Examination...no, no I don't. I would likely kill myself or drop dead while taking it if I ever did.

And I am glad to live in the United States. I'm so glad our education system doesn't work as well as China's. Just read these two blog entries if you don't see where I'm coming from, just click HERE and HERE. I mean, this country is known for its entrepreneurship, its creativity, its innovating minds... why should that be a bad thing when you're talking about ten-year-old number crunchers and 19-year-olds that are stressed out to ridiculous extremes? Your grade in chemistry will not determine whether or not you can come up with the next big thing. Coming up with an idea requires only an imagination, and making it work requires resourcefulness and just a little bit of impulsive risk-taking. Where's that grade you got back in high school on a test in Algebra II? Suddenly, you graduate and nobody gives a fuck. They don't give a fuck about how much you've studied or read, they only want to know how much you've learned and worked.

What do high scores prove anyway? That you're really good at taking standardized tests? I don't know about you, but I have yet to see a job that will pay for that. Hell, if I got paid to take the ACT... I would take it every single time. But no, I'm the one paying for it. 

Besides, does success really determine learning capacity? If it does, than the phrase, "learn from your mistakes" is a lie, completely invalid and irrelevant. Yet it isn't. Why? Because people do learn from their mistakes, therefore learning from failure. Consequently, success cannot be the only teacher. If you asked me, I think success is a terrible teacher. Some of the nicest people are those that have been treated the worst, just as some of the most generous people are those that have the least. Somebody who has never worked a day in their life cannot possibly value physical work, how could they? They don't understand the very concept and value of physical labor. And that brings us to the question: What is work? 

Is it valid to call somebody "lazy" based on what you see? The truth is, you can't see somebody's struggle that easily, it isn't written on their faces or lettered on their clothing. Take, for example, depression. On a societal basis, many people still think depression is just laziness and moping around, wasting time. But to a person with depression it is more like a physical handicap that keeps them from doing what they love and going on with their lives. So, let's change things around a bit. The symptoms of depression are mimicked by many more "established" diseases and condition, like say, diabetes. 

You're a college student. The months go by and you just can't seem to get any work done. Every time you sit down to read from a textbook you're vision gets blurry, so you get these terrible headaches. You're always just so excruciatingly tired and thirsty. Nothing seems to satisfy you anymore, you're even hungry while eating. You gain weight. Everything seems to be going downhill but you see no apparent cause. You want to pay attention in class, you want to get things done, you want to excel and move forward...but you can't. It's diabetes. Does it mean you're lazy? No, it means you need to get yourself to a doctor before your blood glucose levels drop way too low.

I could tell you the exact same thing and be describing depression. Yet somehow, people find it easy to label with "laziness." I know people who come off as the I-don't-give-a-fuck sort of people, who I know are silently toiling away with their own struggles. They are definitely putting forth work and effort, even if you cannot tell. Whether or not somebody succeeds cannot determine whether or not they work. People down in history have devoted their entire lives to causes and goals that were not even accomplished throughout their lives. That does not mean their life was a waste of time. They were still part of the progress, part of the movement.

So, don't let anybody, or anything, tell you your worth, not your parents, not your teachers, not some paper. Nobody was more involved in your life experience than yourself, and only you have the potential of unlocking the meaning of your movement. This is your time.